pursuer distancer dating site

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But if there’s this desperate quality to it, you need to pay attention and be really honest and stop, because the real practice here is to not actually go to your partner to get your needs met, which is very scary for the pursuer. The reason being is that you have to learn really how to take care of yourself and not abandon yourself, and really learn the ultimate lesson which is that the other person isn’t the answer to your abandonment issue.

We need the Angry/Defiant Child ego-state in order to separate and develop an independent sense-of-self. This part of us also begins to develop in the first years of life. Consider what is commonly referred to as the "Terrible Two's" - this is when the child makes his/her first bid for autonomy or separateness by saying the word "no". How that developmental task is tolerated and responded to will set the stage for the official debut of the Angry/Defiant Child ego-state at 12 to 13 years old. Puberty is the onset of adolescence when separateness is the major theme.

This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person

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But if there’s this desperate quality to it, you need to pay attention and be really honest and stop, because the real practice here is to not actually go to your partner to get your needs met, which is very scary for the pursuer. The reason being is that you have to learn really how to take care of yourself and not abandon yourself, and really learn the ultimate lesson which is that the other person isn’t the answer to your abandonment issue.

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This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person

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The Pursuer/ Distancer Dynamic in Intimate Relationships.

We need the Angry/Defiant Child ego-state in order to separate and develop an independent sense-of-self. This part of us also begins to develop in the first years of life. Consider what is commonly referred to as the "Terrible Two's" - this is when the child makes his/her first bid for autonomy or separateness by saying the word "no". How that developmental task is tolerated and responded to will set the stage for the official debut of the Angry/Defiant Child ego-state at 12 to 13 years old. Puberty is the onset of adolescence when separateness is the major theme.

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